On bougie clothing
Me: God damn, look at what a good haul you got from ON Roetard: :D always gir i have an annual budget of $500ish and that lets me order a big box from them every quarter and buy shoooes i figure i do okay for that Me: No kidding Roetard: some peeps spend that on like one sock Me: hahahaha Roetard: fancy lambskin socks or wait nm lol Me: hahahahahaha kid socks studded with swarovski crystals...
On bougie snacks
Roetard: hahahah nice i wonder what flavours of bougie chips i could make lobster compote wendy’s-not-mcdonald’s-cheeseburger flavour soft linen i think that’d be enough to start Me: hahahahahah lobster compote shut up something with gold dust would be a good bougie chip or like, white truffle Roetard: hahahaha totes truffleberry Me: acai and gold leaf brie and goji berries...
On Idiots, Reports
Me: http://cdn-images.hollywood.com/cms/300x375/7236163.jpg Elizabeth: HAHAHHAHAA… so Chris’ voicemail says NOTHING about the report. Elizabeth: He goes on forever saying, “Oh I thought it would be nice to say hi and touch base before… blah blah blah” Elizabeth: And then I get an email right after: Elizabeth: “Oops… phone message didn’t communicate...
On Delivery Guys, Pizza
Vincent: why does the guy smell like pizza Me: Because he’s delivering pizza, you knob Vincent: he looks so dirty Me: haha, I know right, he looks like The Penguin Me: he’s the pizza penguin Vincent: which company is it Me: Pizza Factory, I think Vincent: every pizza joint thats no named pizza hut fresh slice lil ceasars and dominos is named pizza factory Vincent: do i really want to...
Me: Just thinking about this week Me: and its bullshit Elizabeth: Um. It is Tuesday, right? Me: yes Elizabeth: Remind me what’s happened this week? Elizabeth: Other than phone crap. Me: Oh, it’s what’s happenING this week Elizabeth: Ooooh… Me: the policy thing Elizabeth: Oh fuck. Elizabeth: Yes. Me: Every time I sit down to start it I think “why the fuck does this...
On Employee Value, Memes
Me: Stupid employee survey Me: Your input matters except it doesn’t Me: u mad bro Elizabeth: Hahahahhaa… I wonder if there’s a section where you can upload pictures to help express the things we have difficulty saying. Me: hahaha Me: it’ll be this Me: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/000/578/1234931504682.jpg Me: plus this Me:...