Me: My hot landlord is stopping by to get some mail from me today

Me: Roetard and I have been discussing how I’m going to seduce him

Roetard: “trade that shirt for your mail?”

Me: hahaha

Me: “Make out with me first or you don’t get your properly assessment”

Roetard: “i’d like to assess your property”

Me: “With my vagina”

Roetard: hahahahahahaha

+10

Me: “Suggestive wink”

“You just said suggestive wink out loud”

“Yes, I know that”

Roetard: “mmm, looks like valuations are rising”

Me: hahahahah

Roetard: I just rolled my eyes at myself

lol

Me: I said it in my head with a Kim Cattrall voice

Roetard: you know what’s fun to say in Kim Cattrall voice

alliteration names

Lorenzo Laaamas

did you just hear it in Kim?

heh

Me: Hahah I just said it out loud in Kim

Lorennnzo Laaaaaaaamasss

Aaaaaaalan Alllllda

Roetard: Mmmmm, Rachael Raaaay

it works, right?!

Me: Totally

Elizabeth: Hahahahaha… fuck. “With my vagina” made me choke on my drink.